I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
