he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
