I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
