put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
