also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Brb crying the tears of my youth
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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