I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
