I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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