Buhtt sex?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
