my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
