There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
