so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
