How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
