i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
