Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
