is your mom at the bar?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I want to make a zoo with you.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
