Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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