they need to just BURY HIM!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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