Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
