STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so that wasnt chicken after all
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
