That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
