its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The air was thick with penises
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
