please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
