He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
