Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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