Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
