So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
