RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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