Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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