Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
