and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
