At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
