just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
