Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
