my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
