Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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