hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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