I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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