I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
