I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
