at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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