apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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