Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
