drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize