One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
