Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
