Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
