i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
