so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
