He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
