Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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