I hope mine doesn't look like that
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
